Finals Week

This past week has been extremely stressful because, just like everyone else, have so much to do. The week of Thanksgiving, I basically did not work. Monday and Tuesday were a waste because I did not pay attention at all in class, and I certainly did not do as much work as I expected at home. Now I am paying the price.

Between my last test, quizzes, projects, and worrying about final exams I have been crazy. I jump from one assignment to another and feel so disorganized. I don't know what to expect for my final exams, it first semester of college. Are they like my high school finals? How hard will they be? How prepared am? What do I need to do to study and learn the information?

I would like to say that my goals for finals week is to get A's and B's on them, but that is not really what I want from myself. I want to feel prepared, and confident in my knowledge. I want to understand what I study, not just stare at a textbook and hope the information gets installed in my brain. I want to really learn what it is like to manage my time, to study a lot, but also be able to get a good night sleep, and go to the gym. I do not want to worry about about what I do if I have to go to the bathroom during a final or have nightmares about sleeping through a final (yes, I actually worry about those things).

I know I expect strange things from myself, but I know what is best from me. I need to limit any anxiety I have and feel comfortable taking my final exams. Because if I do, I will certain be able to get the grade I want.

Still the Same

Being home for Thanksgiving break was such a tease. It actually felt like I never left home to go to college, everything was exactly the same as it was prior to when I moved out on September first. My house was still hectic; the TV was still blaring, the washer and dryer were still running, and the dishwasher still needed to be emptied after every meal. My parents still guilted me into picking my brother up from practice and taking my sister to her friends house. My mom still chased the dog around the island in the kitchen and my dad still sat in his chair after a long day at work.

Not only were things at home still the same, but my friends were still the exact same. We still all decided on where we were going to go out to, argued about who was going to drive, and debated on where we were going to sleep. When I was with them, I completely forgot about my new friends at school. It was refreshing to see all my old friends and classmates. I missed how nice it was to be comfortable around one another and the feeling of being welcomed. I felt safe and actually enjoyed going out with them. I guess I did not realize how lonely it is at college, where I still do not know a lot of people yet.

I also realized I missed things I did not think I would, like cutting my own fruit and cracking my own eggs. I missed exercising by myself and being able to keep my door open when I laid in bed without it being weird. I missed asking my sisters for advice on my outfits and my mom giving me attitude when I did not do exactly what she said right when she asked. All tiny things that I took for granted I now cherished.

Now that I got my 'home-fix', I am happy to be back at school. It is time to buckle down and really focus on my last three weeks. I have two more exams in Chemistry and Spanish, a final portfolio and a vocabulary quiz for Religion, a math quiz, a blog portfolio and my 8 page final essay for English, and four finals. It is going to be rough, but I am excited to finish the semester and get home again so I can remember everything I missed!

Movie Monday

This past Monday, I watched a movie. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but to me it is. I never have the time to just relax and watch a movie, I don't even watch TV. I had a really bad weekend and all I could think about was being home in just 36 short hours. I thought the best way to pass the time, and distract myself from any ideas of home would to be to watch a movie. So that's what I did.

I watched The Rebound, starring Catherine Zeta-Jones and Justin Bartha. This romantic comedy was exactly what I needed to clear my head. It was funny, yet heart-warming, predictable, yet satisfying. In the movie, newly single mom Sandy moves to New York City after finding out her husband had been cheating on her. After renting the apartment above a local coffee shop, she asks barista Aram Finklestein to babysit for her so she can go on a blind date. After series of failed blind dates, Sandy realizes she's looking for love in all the wrong places.

Sandy starts to see Aram, her male nanny many years younger than her. It seems weird, but their relationship actually worked out for a while. Sandy would go to work while Aram would stay with her kids. At the end of they day, they would all get together just like a family. Of course, it wouldn't be a movie without conflict, Sandy and Aram eventually broke up.

Though the ending was predictable (they got back together), I enjoyed it. It was a great way to clear my head and focus on something other than school. Though I wasted two hours of my life, it was well worth it.

My South

Physically speaking, North and South are polar opposites. When I think of North I think of cold, dark, mountains. When I think of South I think of warmth, sunlight, and beaches. I have never traveled north of a family vacation, we only go down south. This is because the south is a happier place.

My ideal 'south' would be my house at the Jersey Shore. It is where I spend my summers, early falls, and late springs. I would prefer to be there rather than my house up north. I did not grow to appreciate my escape down south until I got into high school. It was then that I realized that being by a beach was relaxing. I loved how I could escape reality, I could be in a place where nothing mattered. 

Whenever I get upset when I am at my beach house I always walk on the beach. I love being alone and reflecting on what happened, what I could have done to avoid the situation, and what I could do to fix the issue. Being in the south makes me more understanding, reasonable, and compassionate.

 At the same time that I find myself during these reflective walks, I lose myself. I think about who I am and what that means to me which helps me find myself. While this is happening I lose myself because it does not matter. Who I am and what I am like does not matter when I am walking alone on the beach because no one is around. 

It's crazy to think how traveling an hour down south from where I am from could completely change my mindset.

I am North

Growing up in New Jersey, I always felt like I was in between northern and southern United States. I was neither too far north, nor considered myself to live in the south. My placement in New Jersey is exactly the same in comparison to the country. I grew up in Somerset County, in central Jersey. I never knew what it was like to be “north.”

A space that embodies northness for me is Connecticut. My idea of northness is college, being at Fairfield University. Aside from physically being north of where I grew up, being in Connecticut is an internal journey. It has forced me to leave home, and fend for myself. Peter Davidson argues in The Idea of North that, “A voluntary northward journey implies a willingness to encounter the intractable elements of climate, topography, and humanity.” It took courage to leave where I considered home in New Jersey to come to an unknown land of opportunities. It was not until I changed who I was that I was able to really experience what it was like to be north.

Davidson says, “In everyone’s mind there is a line drawn across the maps, known to that person alone, of where ‘the north’, in the sense that means more than ‘north of where I happen to be’, begins.” This line is a moral line that you cannot cross unless you change. Once you cross this line, you can achieve your own personal north. For me, the boundaries accompanying my journey northward included getting over my shyness, homesickness, and dependence on other people. Once I changed these negative attributes to my personality, I became successful at Fairfield.

Davidson says that traveling north is a space that is hard to get to, and is not easy to obtain. Prior to attending Fairfield University, I never saw myself as ‘naturally smart’. I was a straight A student, but I had to work for it. My grades were a direct correlation with my willingness to put in the time and effort. I was forced to teach myself how to learn. My acceptance to Fairfield University was not a shock, but a relief; my hard work had finally paid off.

Traveling north to Fairfield University was a risk I was willing to take. Being away from home for the first time left a lot of room for failure. I had to find a new niche that I could consider to be “home.” I had to create a routine
and be willing to be flexible. All these changed I made allowed me to have a successful trip north.

Mr. Paul Muldoon

It's pretty amazing that we can have someone as famous as Paul Muldoon come to Fairfield University for a poetry reading. What is also amazing is that he can be so famous, yet I had no idea who he was. I have read poetry before, but it's not one of the top things on my 'to-do list' in my free time. When I read poetry it is because it is assigned.

Professor Kelley seemed really excited about this famous poet and Professor at Princeton University coming to our school for a poetry reading. She assigned us a packet of his poems to read so we could discuss them in class prior to the reading. When I attempted to read the packet, the poems made no sense. My mind was blown, I had no idea what Muldoon was trying to say. His poems just weren't registering in my brain, they required knowledge that I did not have.

After the class discussion I really did not want to go to the poetry reading. I assumed I would have to sit in a hot, crammed room filled with poetry fanatics that were there on their own free will. I thought that everyone would be engaged in Muldoon's reading, while I would just sit there with my arms crossed. I assumed that Muldoon would be a stuck-up poet that was to smart for his own good. Luckily, I was wrong.

I was surprised that I actually got a seat when I arrived at the poetry reading. A lot of events on campus are not prepared for the mass numbers of people that attend them. I sat towards the side in the back, and had a view of Muldoon as he walked up and down the aisles. Muldoon surprised me, he was like a normal person, not some crazy poet. He greeted the audience by not only thanking us for coming, but apologizing to those students who were forced to go to his reading. I appreciated this because I was of those students. He had an attitude that made it comfortable to be around. He did not want credit for being famous or to be treated better than everyone else.

Mr. Muldoon gave background information to each poem before reading them. I wish he would have done that when I was trying to decipher what he was trying to say. This information was key to understanding his poems. I got excited when he said he was going to read Cuba, because I actually remembered what that one was about. He joked at the end of the poem saying that he must have gotten tired for ending it like that.

I felt like overall, the audience was engaged in Muldoon's readings (even the students). He cracked jokes and was responsive to the audience. In some cases, student had to leave for class (or because they decided they didn't want to be there). Every time someone got up and left, he stopped what he was saying and said something like, goodbye thank you for coming, see you soon. Though it was a bit sarcastic, but it was nice that he acknowledged everyone for coming to his reading

I am glad I got the experience to attend a poetry reading, because had it not been assigned, I definitely would not have gone.

RIP Computer

Last night I spilt my whole cup of coffee on my computer. It was not just a drop, it was 12 ounces of freshly brewed coffee all over my keyboard. I was sitting at my desk doing homework. I made myself coffee to focus, I wanted to get all my work done so I could relax. I keep my apples in a basket, so when I took down the basket of apples and put it on my desk, boom it hit right into the mug that was right next to my computer.

I didn't know what to do. I picked up my computer and wrapped it in my a towel. The screen was multicolored and the apple sign on the front was flashing. Coffee was coming out of the keyboard every time I moved it. I knew I broke it, computers aren't liquid-proof. I tried the best I could to dry it off, but there was no saving it. My computer was only 2 months old.

I started to cry. I felt so irresponsible. I called my mom to break the news to her. She answered and I heard a loud audience singing happy birthday.  After they were done signing my mom answered and realized I was hysterical.

"Bean what's wrong is everything okay?" she said.
"Mom." I cried. I literally could not speak I was so upset. "I just spilt coffee on my computer and now it's broke."
"Okay Bean calm down it's just a computer. We are just leaving I will call you when we are in the car."

Then I realized how silly I sounded. I was crying over a computer, but I didn't know how else to react. Had I not gotten upset, it would seem like I did not care. But crying over a computer made me seem pretty immature. There are so many worse things that could have happened than breaking a computer.

My mom called me back when they left the party and said not to worry they would get it fixed. I was still really upset. My mom told me that her and my dad would come tomorrow morning and take care of it. My dad added, "You don't have to break your computer to make me come up there, you can just ask me to take you out to lunch." Of course he has to add a sarcastic comment.

So today my parents came, and we went to the Apple store. I felt to guilty making them buy me a new computer, but there is no way I could make it without one (which goes back to our dependency on technology). My dad did not seemed phased by the whole ordeal. He looked at it as theres nothing you can do to un-spill your coffee, and things can be so much worse (and I caught him on a good day). My mom on the other hand openly said, "Your lucky your dad is here, or I'd be fuming."

As we left the Apple store my dad asked, "You know what today taught you?"
I knew where he was going because he always has some sort of little life lesson he preaches about. "That things can be fixed," I replied.
He said back, "To whom much is given, much is expected."

I just smiled at my dad, because I knew it was true. I am so lucky to be given parents that are able to support me in anyway possible. In return, I have to be the best I can be and show them that I truly appreciate everything they do for me.

And just a side note, there will be absolutely no eating or drinking by my new computer!

Advise Me (Please!)

This week starts advising period at Fairfield. That simple sentence should not freak me out as much as it should, but I can't help but worry. Advising period is used to reduce the stress of picking classes next semester, you meet with your advisor and they suggest what classes you should take. This gives me the worst anxiety. Picking my classes is making a plan for my future. I can't think of the future without getting worried.


The idea of picking classes scares me so much because I feel like I have no idea what I am doing. I am undecided, I don't have a major and have no ideas of interest (well that is not completely true). I know I want to do something with health science, but I am not sure exactly what. To pick a major would be a huge help, but I am too indecisive. One day I want to be one thing, and the next day it changes. Sometimes I think I can't handle being a pre-health major, then the next I think I have the ability to be the next great scientist. It seems like every other student at Fairfield knows exactly what they are doing. They have their classes picked out and they are ready to move onto the next semester. They all have majors and know what they want to be when they grow up. Then there is me, the complete opposite.

I know everyone says its okay to be undecided and most people change their majors they originally started with, but I hate not knowing. I want to know what I am studying and what I am going to be when I grow up. I am impatient, I just want to snap my fingers and get the answers to these questions. I know life does not work like that, but it would be awesome if it did.

The reason I am getting so worked up over this is because I put way to much pressure on myself. I don't know why, but I expect myself to know everything. I am going to make mistakes. I can't always be right, but I wish I could. Not knowing what to do is apart of the college experience. I just need to relax and talk to my advisor. Everything always works out, I just have to be patient.

The Winter Jacket

I am lucky to say that I rarely ever fight with my parents. I know that sounds crazy and that is so unusual for a teenager, but usually the fights we have are over stupid things that don't matter. My mom will yell at me for leaving my stuff laying around in the kitchen, or for leaving my half filled coffee mugs around the house. My parents have a hard time getting mad at me because I always try to do the right thing. I fold the laundry or empty the dishwasher, and usually (not always) I am willing to give my siblings rides.

I know better to fight with my parents because as everyone knows parents are always right. I was never really the aggressive type. I hate confrontation and when someone is mad at me, so to fight with my parents makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't see fighting as a solution, it usually just causes more problems. My lack of ability to fight is one of the main reasons my siblings call me the favorite child. I just go along with what my parents say, and usually I can get what I want.

The only thing my parents and I really fight about is when I get in a fight with one of my siblings. Yeah I call my 10 year old brother annoying and my teenage brother rude, but that doesn't really matter. What really irks my parents is when my sisters and I fight over clothes. Having two sisters is great until I want to take my sisters jacket back to college, or I find my favorite pair of jeans in my sisters hamper.

Even when I fight with my sisters, my parents usually take my sides (because I'm the favorite, just kidding it's because I am rational). Yesterday, before I came back from school my little sister and I got into a huge fight over clothes. Sunny insisted on checking my bag before I got on the train, just to make sure I didn't take anything of hers. I told her I didn't have anything of hers, but really my bag was filled with her jacket, shirts, and scarves.Trying to hide my bag and leave before Sunny got home didn't work. She found my bag, ripped it open, and pulled out everything that was hers.

I can't fight my own battles against my sisters, I always get my parents involved. My sisters know that I hate to fight and they know that 99.9% of the time, I end up in tears. As our brawl started out Sunny said, "Your going to go cry to mom and get whatever you want." Of course this made me cry and of course I screamed for my mom to back me up.

My mom came out into the garage and yes, she took my side. Sunny was yelling about a particular, tan winter jacket that she didn't even know she had. This jacket was hanging in the back of my mom's closet since before last winter. I figured I could take it, Sunny didn't even know where the jacket was and if I didn't bring a warm winter jacket back to school I would freeze to death on my walk to class.
Sunny thought the opposite. Even though she has not worn the jacket in over a year, she wanted me to leave it home so it can go unused and take up space in my mom's closet. Sunny claims that she knew that jacket was there, and that she needs it for school. I laughed because her school is inside, and she wears her same north face jacket everyday. If I brought the jacket back to school I would actually use it.

Long story short, I ended up in tears, Sunny ended up telling me she hated me, and my mom packed the jacket I want in my bag for me to bring back to school. Good thing my dad was not home or else he would have been really mad at my sister and I for fighting over somethings so stupid. After fighting with my sister I felt really guilty. I hate leaving on such bad terms with her especially knowing that I won't see her until Thanksgiving. At least I got a jacket to keep me warm in the brisk Connecticut air.

Technology and Me

As much as I hate technology, there is no way I could live without it. I rely on technology for everything, but I rarely ever realize I am doing it. I always have my phone and I google whatever answers I don't know. I call my mom and my sister at least three times a day each. Even if I don't have anything to say, I will call them just to say hi. I take for granted having a phone that will connect me to everything I want. I could not imagine growing up in a time without such advanced technology.

My first phone, the orange enV

I got my first phone the Christmas of seventh grade, an orange Verizon enV. I was the last of my friends to have one. I was always jealous of my friends, they could call and text each other every hour of every day. To get in contact with me they had to call my house phone and hope that I picked up. It was lame that I didn't have a phone for so long, but looking back on it now I really didn't need a phone.

My phone in 7th grade allowed me to get in on all the drama, gossip about people, and have my mom call me at 11:00 and ask me when I was coming home. When I would lose my phone or forget it at home, it was like the end of the world. I was attached to my phone, just because I finally had one. There was no reason I needed to be in contact with people all the time like I was.

As I got older, I became more and more dependent on my phone. Social media became more and more occurring, and it was right at the tips of my fingers. My freshman year of high school, when I first got a Facebook (again I was the last of my friends), I had the ability to scroll through my newsfeed and keep up with my 'friends'. When Twitter and Instagram came out years later, I too got one. I am always the last to get with with the social media, but I just as addicted as everyone else.

I wish I never got involved with social media. It is like one of those things that once you start, you can't stop. I would save so much time if I wasn't so obsessed with my phone and keeping up with social media. I think knowing that I am so reliant on my phone has helped me not be as reliant (if that makes sense). I make an effort to leave my phone in my room if I go to one of my friends room just so I don't use it all the time. I love using airplane mode on my phone. It does not allow texts, emails, or calls to come through, but you don't turn your phone off so you can still check the time. My phone goes on airplane mode when I workout, when I am studying, or when I am sleeping. Airplane mode allows me to lose contact from the world, even if its only for 20 minutes.

One great thing that I love about technology is the ability to stay connected. My cousins and I have a group chat, which all 20 of us write in just to let each other know what is going on. Most of the time we talk about stupid stuff (like yesterday we talked about what we were all being for halloween). It is nice to be able to talk to my cousins so easily. I could not imagine writing letters to them, and waiting for them to respond days later.

Even though I say I hate technology, I couldn't live without it. I don't know how people went to college without technology. I could not imagine writing papers by hand or looking up information in a book. If I was at college without technology, I would be so homesick. Technology is a double-edged sword.

Save the Sea

If someone asked me where my favorite place on earth was, without hesitation I would say the beach. This is so cliché, everyone loves the beach. But I am different from everyone, I love the beach in a different way then everyone else. I can sit on any beach for hours on end. During the summer, I leave beach block, I spend every day there. Some mornings I would get up early and watch the sunrise over the ocean, while some nights I would walk down the shoreline with the water hitting my feet.

When the tide is low like this is my favorite time
 to walk on the beach. 

After reading The Touchy-Feely (but Totally Scientific!) Methods of Wallace F. Nichols by Michael Roberts, I realize that my feelings towards any beach, are not extreme or bizarre. They are actually completely normal. There is a certain kind of person with these beliefs, that there is somethings special about the ocean. These people are Nichols' target.

Nichols believes that by understanding how we feel around water, we will have an easier time finding solutions to conserve the ocean. Nichols, who is a biologist, is trying to get this idea in motion. He "envisions cognitive neuroscientist constructing detailed models of brain activity for experiences like sitting on a beach, then using their findings to drive public policy." Basically, Nichols is trying to find proof that emotions drive our behavior. In doing this, he can use emotions to save the ocean.

I like Nichols' attitude towards his idea. He is not in it for the fame and fortune, he really just wants to conserve the ocean. Nichols is a down to earth man. He is smart, but not too smart for his own good. He has social skills and knows how to express his beliefs and hypothesis to people so they understand. Nicholas is like you or me, a normal person, only he is using his
skills to save the sea.

It is Nichols personality and my love for the beach that drew me to this article. Nichols is onto something great. There is no calming place better than the beach. Had Nichols been doing research about something less occuring in my life, I probably would not agree with his carefree, laid back, and lack of scientific proof approach. Not only do I agree with Nichols' argument, but can relate to it. My love for the ocean drew me to this article.

 If we keep polluting the ocean and treating it like it is no big deal, pretty soon that luxury will be gone.
 I really hope that we can make changes in the way we act to conserve the ocean. If not, we are all really going to regret it.

For more information about Nichols visit: http://wallacejnichols.org

The Things I Google

Google is a life savor. Without google there is no way I would have passed high school, let alone get into a school like Fairfield. I googlethings everyday. My last five searches include:

• health articles (I find these really interesting)
• why don't some jews keep kosher (for my interview for religion) 
• convery 726 kJ to J (for my chem homework)
• what time does barone close (just wondering)
• Loyola University women's soccer (looking up Jess' stats)

I don't know what I would do without google, it provides information at the click of a button. Marion Wink says in the article The Things They Googled, "The things they googled were determined by forgetfulness, by need, by desire, by curiosity, and by the endless availability of information." We google things not because we need to know information, but because it is so easy to do. More than half the things I google are stupid things I don't need to know. I couldn't imagine living a life without google. What would we do to find information, look it up in a book?

Google is really helpful when it comes to my weekly Chemistry homework. Our homework is online, and is mostly common examples that are online, just with different numbers. I have figured out that if I google the first couple words of the problem, usually an example will come up with different numbers. This makes doing my homework so much easier, all I have to do is follow the example that I found though google, just putting in my own numbers. I save so much time by doing my homework this way. Rather than flipping though my notes and seeing what equations I need to use, I just google them. All the information is right in front of me, it makes doing homework so much more efficient.

My mom thinks she is a doctor because of google. Whenever any of my brothers or sisters are sick, she will google the symptoms and tell us what is wrong with us. It is so funny because we always joke that doctors don't know anything, they just google it (that's why they always walk in and out of the room). Obviously this is a joke, doctors are really smart. Its crazy to think that an normal person can find out what is wrong with them by googling it.

I don't think people appeciate how much google has improved our lives. Google has made it possible to keep up with fast paced life we all live in. Reading The Things They Googled by Marion Wink showed me how much Google has influenced my life. I now realize how much I use google, and how different my life would be without it.

Blind

Today I dropped my contact when I was taking it out of my eye, and I cannot find it anywhere. I know, it doesn't sound like a big deal, but to me it is the end of the world. I hate wearing my glasses; they are too big, fall down my face, and give me a headache. I am not one of those people that can survive without glasses or contacts, I am blind as a bat. I rarely ever take my contacts out because it is gross, I have always hated sticking my fingers in my eyes. When I first got my contacts it took me over an hour and a half for the doctor to teach me how to put them in. I could not understand how people nearly poke their eye out trying to put a contact in. I took so long to learn that the doctor had to leave and help another patient while I sat there and waited until I was mentally prepared to put my contacts in for the first time.

Right after I showered (which was a cold shower because there was no hot water in my dorm), my eyes were really dry. I decided to take out my contacts. I figured I should considering I can't remember the last time I had taken them out. (Yes, I know this is really bad for my eyes!) I took my contact out of my left eye with no problem and put it safely away in my case. I didn't have great luck with my right eye. I swear my contact just disappeared, because it is no where to be found on my floor. Usually when I drop them (which happens pretty often) I find them after a couple seconds of searching. This time was different, my contact was lost.

I started to panic because I didn't have a back up pair, the pair of contacts that was in my eyes were the only ones I have at school. I had 3 friends searching for my contact while I called my mom and asked her if she happened to slip my spare contacts in my bag this weekend when I was home.
"I emptied my purse today," she said. "And your contacts were in there. They are now sitting on the kitchen table." I asked her if she could overnight them to me, so I didn't have to wear my contacts all weekend. "I'll do it first thing tomorrow morning."

I started to relax. I convinced myself to stop being such a drama queen and told myself that I could survive wearing my glasses for one day. Then my roommate says, "We don't get mail on Saturdays. You won't get them until Monday."

Immediately I called my mom, who told me to find a Lens Crafters or eye doctors that would have my prescription. Of course I had to lose my contacts, something that is not sold in drug stores. I had an attitude towards my mom; it wasn't her fault I dropped my contact or that mail wasn't delivered on Saturdays, but I had to blame someone. I hung up and told her I would figure it out by myself, even though I did not have the slightest idea where to begin.

 My mom called me back and said, "Bean I'm by a UPS store, I think I can overnight your contacts to another UPS store, that way you will have them tomorrow." I was so relieved, because there was no way that I could get my contacts by myself and I certainly didn't want to have to wear my glasses all
weekend. 28 dollars later, I can now take the stag bus to town after 10:30 tomorrow morning and pick up my contacts. Thanks mom for saving my weekend!

Chaos

This weekend I figured out why it is important that I don't come home more often. I can't get any work done. Trying to get homework done right now is physically impossible. I don’t know how people that live at home and go school do it. My house is to loud to even think straight. You would think a 87 year old grandpa is watching TV, that is how loud it is. I can hear the TV blaring through my closed bedroom door. My mom is yelling from upstairs in the laundry room to my brother who is downstairs to go to bed. You can't even hear her over the sound of the dryer going and the slamming of the washing machine it closes, never mind with the TV on. My little brother Jack, who's 10, is on the couch yelling back to my mom that he can stay up because everyone else is up. They aren't even on the same level of the house, yet they are having a full blown conversation. 

My little sister Sunny is so needy. Literally every sentence that comes out of her mouth starts with, "I need..." She just took out the ironing board, in the middle of the upstairs hallway, and decided to iron her shirt for tomorrow. She must of forgot that 1. I am in my room trying to study, and 2. the ironing board squeaks every time someone moves it. Like my mom and brother, she is yelling downstairs to my sisters boyfriend about her project that he is helping her with. Billy, who has been dating my sister for over a year, is running through my downstairs playing with Teddy, our dog. You would think there is a 4 year old child running downstairs, but no, it's just Billy. 

In addition to that noise, my brother Alex, who wrestles, is wrestling my sister Tori to the ground. He took her down with a slide-bye, his signature move. Tori is on the ground with Alex on top of her. I know this is not normal, but for a "wrestling family" like mine this is an everyday occurrence  My dad is at a meeting, but if he was home he would be yelling at Tori telling her how to escape. 

Through this chaos I'm trying to study for my religion vocab quiz. I told my mom to, "shut everyone up," but she just laughed at me. My mom knows that there is nothing she can do about the noise and she knows that someway or another I will find a way to be prepared for my test. I can’t imagine what it would be like if I had to deal with this everyday, I don't know how I made it through high school with such good grades. Having lived on my own for three months, I forgot how annoying it was to live in such chaos. Don't get me wrong, when I don't have stuff to get done, I'd be right with my family being loud and obnoxious, but being that I am a tad bit stressed out, I can't deal with this. I love my family, but this is one thing I don’t miss right now. I need to be back at school, in an environment that is made for studying. My house is way to fun to get any work done. 

Alex perfecting his handstand, in the
family room

Alex's response to my mom asking him to empty the dishwasher (he didn't actually hit her thought)

Surprise!

Yesterday I surprised my best friend Jess at her soccer game at Lehigh University. Jess is freshman forward for Loyola University Maryland. She has been telling me to come down to Maryland to see one of her games since she left for school. I really wanted to visit her because I know how much it means to her to. Jess loves to have people watch her play and support her. I suck at planning and traveling alone freaks me out so getting there was going to be hard for me. I don't understand train schedules and I felt bad begging my parents to come pick me up only to drive down to see Jess. I've been looking online to see if Jess was playing anywhere close to Fairfield. I saw online that she was playing at Lehigh on Saturday, which is only 50 minutes from my house. It was perfect because I was already coming her for the weekend. How could I pass up surprising my best friend? 

Jess and I obviously needed a picture
 together

I got a ride to the game with her parents, so I didn't even have drive to Lehigh. We got to the game after Jess had already started warming up, so I had no idea if she knew I was there or not. We watched the game (they lost 2-1). After the game Jess started walking towards us and I hid behind her parents. If she didn't see me, I wanted to pop out. As she got closer I heard her yell, "I known Bernard's here!" I jumped out and hugged her. Jess was so surprised and appreciative that I came. She kept saying, "I can't believe you didn't tell me you were coming." Even though her team just lost she had a huge smile on her face. Jess said that she knew I was there during warm-ups. She turned to her roommate and said, "I think Kristina is here." Her roommate looked and said, "Yup that's Bernard." Jess told me she was going to ask me to come, but she felt bad because she knew I wanted to spend time with my family. After ten minutes of talking and joking, Jess had to get back on the bus. 
Though I did not really get to hang out with Jess, I'm glad I went to her game. Jess is my best friend, so doing something that made her happy made me happy. I miss laughing with Jess while we are apart at school. My time with Jess made me realize how good of a friend she really is and how much I miss having her in my life. I can't wait until her season is over so she can come visit me!

Why Am I Still Here?

There is no reason that I am still on campus right now. Monday is Columbus day, so we don't have classes. This 3 day weekend is a common weekend for Fairfield kids to go home, and I am no exception. Except everyone left sometime either yesterday or today, but I am still here. Don't get me wrong, I love Fairfield, but the more I think about it I wish I was home right now.

This is going to be my first time home since I left for school (I'm surprised I made it this long). Originally the plan was to have my parents come get me very early Saturday morning to avoid traffic on Friday. I have class until 3:00, so at the time it did not seem worth it to sit in rush hour traffic. We can make it back to New Jersey in under an hour and a half by car. If I knew how to, I would have taken the train home, but that kind of stuff overwhelms me. I've never done it before, and would want someone that I know with me to show me what to do. I agreed with my parents idea to have my dad outside my dorm at 5:30 am, that way I am home by 7 am, I can fall back asleep in my own bed, and still get on with my short time home. Now though, that idea is not sounding so good.

As I walked around in the late afternoon when I was on the phone with my sister, all I saw were parents carrying duffle bags and suitcases and Fairfield students leaving for the weekend. Today there was the most adults on campus since move in day. I could't help but feel jealous. It may not sound like a lot, but these kids have 12 more hours than me at home. That makes all the difference.

The last couple hours have dragged on. I don't even know what I did, but time is moving so slow. I tried to do homework, so I don't have to worry about it over the weekend but I can't focus. I'm too excited! I am not used to the quiet in my room, on my floor, or around campus. On my walk back from the gym I only saw 4 people. That's how you know everyone is already home.

I'm glad I only have seven and a half more hours until my dad is going to be here to pick me up. Hopefully I will fall asleep soon so I have enough energy to enjoy every single second I have at home.

My bags were packed long before I left
(yes, I am bringing laundry home)

Library Fun

I just spent the past two hours in the library, and it was torturous. Don't get me wrong, I love to study and do not mind doing homework, but something about the library doesn't sit well with me. In high school, I loved going to the library during lunch (sounds nerdy, I know). I didn't go because I didn't have friends or a table sit at, I went to the library so I could get all my homework done before I got home. I would rather spend the 45 minutes I had for lunch doing work so come 2:15 I was free and did not have to do anymore school work.

When I got to college I assumed I'd be spending a lot of time in the library. I was completely wrong. My bag nearly snapped as I walked there with my ginormous Chem and Calc textbooks, along with other notebooks and binders. I hated hauling my books there, the awkward silence, and how crowed it is. I had a hard time sitting still and felt like everyone was looking at me whenever I made the littlest sound. I like to spread my stuff out (well I'm messy), so the tiny table that I was sharing with 3 other people was not big enough for me. I was unprepared, I didn't bring anything to drink (I don't know how I thought I was going to last there considering I drink coffee every three hours). I also didn't bring headphones. I don't do work listening to music, but I do like to listen to a song or two to break up my time.Now, these are extreme complaints about a library and I know I am overreacting, but I feel like I just waisted 2 valuable hours of my life that I could have used to study.

Fairfield University Library

Now that I know I don't like the library I probably won't be back. There is plenty of places around campus that are great for studying, and way less formal then the library setting. I am perfectly fine with studying and doing my work in my room. My roommate is great about dealing with my homework/study habits. She knows that I sit in weird positions or lay on my floor, and have papers all over the place. I'm starting to appreciate the fact that I can actually get work done in my room, because if not I'd probably be failing out of school.

The City Solution

In the 1800's, the idea of a city had a negative stigma attached to it. Cities were not cities we know today, but slums that were considered homes to the poorest of the poor. According to the Victorians, these cities were "colonies of breeding animals." Robert Kunzig's essay The City Solution is ironic because the essay starts by addressing the terror behind olden cities and how they should be shut down, but continues to describe cities as a solution to many prevailing issues in the world today.

Kunzig's first section is in the past, addressing the issues that cities have. Kunzig starts with Jack the Ripper to get your attention and invite us in with someone we all know about; we are all are interested in scary things so this makes us want to continue reading. London was the biggest city back then, seen as the leader in technology. Kunzig then uses Ebenezer Howard who believes that cities should really be like suburbs, but we later find out the Howard is not the hero.

Kunzig breaks the reading up into sections which contribute to his thesis, that urbanization is now "good news." The first section addresses the fact that economist embrace cities. Kunzig speaks of economist Edward Glaeser, who says that poor people flock to cities because thats where the money is. Having so many people in one place "reduces the cost of transporting goods, people, and ideas." Kunzig concludes this section by saying no technology ever invented is as important as a city.

The next section addresses the view of cities from environmentalist, which is surprisingly in support of cities. Kunzig says that cities use less space, leaving more open land, cities use less resources, including heat and lighting, and finally people living in cities drive less, taking public transportation. Carbon emission and energy use are lower than the national average in cities. This argument supports his thesis, that cities are helping the Earth. The end quote of the section shows that the government needs to change in order to adapt to the new urbanization.

Kunzig then uses the example of the capital of South Korea, Seoul, that transitioned from being one of the world's poorest countries in the world to being richer than some European countries. This economic growth was due to population growth, from 3 million to 10 million, between 1960 and 2000. This example shows that cities can urbanize quickly if needed. This urbanization helped the economic issues, but is also done in an environmentally friendly way.

Next Kunzig uses a counter example to get out attention again. He talks about stopping the development of cities is impossible. Park Chung-Hee, the dictator of South Korea, surrounded to city with a greenbelt to stop further development. By using a greenbelt, the issue of urbanization is not resolved. People cannot be stopped from wanting to be in a growing city because of cheap transportation and rising income. Like Howard suggested, many people want to live in a house with a yard. For that reason, many people opt to live outside the city and commute to work.

The ending is talking about Letchworth, England is a suburb right outside of London. It is great closure to open and close with England. London survived because they have wildlife parks and they expanded with transportation. It is exactly what Howard envisioned when he saw cities, it has houses and open land, but is still close enough to the city to get to by train. Howard tried to escape to Nebraska, but would not handle the country lifestyle. The end of the article quotes Howard again, and we see his beliefs have changed.

Kunzig picked a timeless argument because there is always an issue with cities. Because of the mass amounts of people and limited space, many people see cities as a home for crime, unsanitary living conditions, pollution, and chaos. Kunzig chose to argue against those beliefs, and drew out reasons why cities were beneficial to the world.  I liked how Kunzig chose to support his argument with an environmentalist, because many people see cities as a main cause of global warming.

Kunzig's article The City Solution is an effective article because it made me think about cities. Prior to reading this, I used to see cities as a crowded, dirty place that only poor people lived in. I did not realize that there was an economic component to cities, or that they are actually eco-friendly.