Finals Week

This past week has been extremely stressful because, just like everyone else, have so much to do. The week of Thanksgiving, I basically did not work. Monday and Tuesday were a waste because I did not pay attention at all in class, and I certainly did not do as much work as I expected at home. Now I am paying the price.

Between my last test, quizzes, projects, and worrying about final exams I have been crazy. I jump from one assignment to another and feel so disorganized. I don't know what to expect for my final exams, it first semester of college. Are they like my high school finals? How hard will they be? How prepared am? What do I need to do to study and learn the information?

I would like to say that my goals for finals week is to get A's and B's on them, but that is not really what I want from myself. I want to feel prepared, and confident in my knowledge. I want to understand what I study, not just stare at a textbook and hope the information gets installed in my brain. I want to really learn what it is like to manage my time, to study a lot, but also be able to get a good night sleep, and go to the gym. I do not want to worry about about what I do if I have to go to the bathroom during a final or have nightmares about sleeping through a final (yes, I actually worry about those things).

I know I expect strange things from myself, but I know what is best from me. I need to limit any anxiety I have and feel comfortable taking my final exams. Because if I do, I will certain be able to get the grade I want.

Still the Same

Being home for Thanksgiving break was such a tease. It actually felt like I never left home to go to college, everything was exactly the same as it was prior to when I moved out on September first. My house was still hectic; the TV was still blaring, the washer and dryer were still running, and the dishwasher still needed to be emptied after every meal. My parents still guilted me into picking my brother up from practice and taking my sister to her friends house. My mom still chased the dog around the island in the kitchen and my dad still sat in his chair after a long day at work.

Not only were things at home still the same, but my friends were still the exact same. We still all decided on where we were going to go out to, argued about who was going to drive, and debated on where we were going to sleep. When I was with them, I completely forgot about my new friends at school. It was refreshing to see all my old friends and classmates. I missed how nice it was to be comfortable around one another and the feeling of being welcomed. I felt safe and actually enjoyed going out with them. I guess I did not realize how lonely it is at college, where I still do not know a lot of people yet.

I also realized I missed things I did not think I would, like cutting my own fruit and cracking my own eggs. I missed exercising by myself and being able to keep my door open when I laid in bed without it being weird. I missed asking my sisters for advice on my outfits and my mom giving me attitude when I did not do exactly what she said right when she asked. All tiny things that I took for granted I now cherished.

Now that I got my 'home-fix', I am happy to be back at school. It is time to buckle down and really focus on my last three weeks. I have two more exams in Chemistry and Spanish, a final portfolio and a vocabulary quiz for Religion, a math quiz, a blog portfolio and my 8 page final essay for English, and four finals. It is going to be rough, but I am excited to finish the semester and get home again so I can remember everything I missed!